tifanie23's blog

Where to begin?

I have just experienced ten days like no other, filled with great joy and discovery, suprises, stress, laughter, tears, astonishment, and a million other specific and unique emotions that will never exist twice in my life.

I am sitting in Natasha's quiet, colorful Philadelphia flat, attempting to take stock of it all. The Friday before last began a rehearsal, tech and performance process like no other. Two nights ago, we closed our run of Acts of Sedition at Society Hill Playhouse at the Philly Fringe. 

This was my first fringe, and the first time I have attempted to help organize something of this scale. 11 actors from 4 different states, 14 pieces written and directed by a group of wonderful friends. We arrived in Philly last Monday and began tech the next day.

Techs are not much fun, generally, but we were fueled by exhilaration and fear in equal measure. Despite a few difficulties, and the fact that our opening night was our first real full run through with every cast member and every sound/video/light cue, we did manage to construct a pretty cohesive show over those long distances. Our audience, our confidence, and our work grew larger and stronger each night. There were a few foibles along the road, but not nearly as many as would be expected. Our audiences reacted and laughed to different things each night, which was incredibly interesting. And the general feeling is that this is a show we just might want to do again. Which is a nice feeling to have.

 

In addition to putting Acts up, we were able to see other Fringe shows and Philadelphia attractions. As productions went, I most enjoyed Fat Boy, a modernized Ubu Roi I saw yesterday at the Plays and Players Theatre. Tash's friend Joshus did the sound and it, along with the rest of the show, was just fantastic. Ballsy and funny, even with one of the actors injured and performing from a wheelchair.

 

Attraction wise, Adriana, Gabe, David and I spent 5.5 hours at the Franklin Science Museum at the Tutankhamen exhibit. Although the actual mummy wasn't along for the ride, I found myself face to face with objects I had only ever seen in books and never thought I would have a chance to be so close to. I am so grateful, and still convinced there was more than a bit of alien assistance with those pyramids and the rites and rituals. So yeah, everything but the Tut. Loved it all.

 

Gabe and I saw the underwhelming Liberty Bell and meandered charming sidestreets that look quite European with their painted shutters and wrought iron details, a slew of us went to a Medical oddity museum that I was the first one out of. It was the 6 inch long horn tumor growing from a French washerwoman's forehead that did it for me, I believe. Wugga. I had a Dunkin' Donuts experience as follows:

 

Surly Counter Person #1: What ya want?

Me: Uh... a medium hot chocolate and a lemon-

Surly Counter Person #1: You want a what?

Me: A medium hot chocolate and a-

Surly Conter Person #1 : A medium hot chocolate and a what?

Me: A lemon jelly donut and a glazed-

Surly Counter Person #1: (as Surly Counter Person #2 begins to bag my donuts) Nu-uh. No no no. There's lemon, and then there's jelly. Ain't no such thing as a lemon jelly donut.

Me: Ok, a lemon donut and a glazed-

Surly Conter Person #1 (to #2) How many donuts in that bag?

Surly Conter Person #2: Three.

Me: No, I only want two. A lemon and a glazed, ok?

Surly Conter Person #2: (Gleefully) You said "JELLY"! (The two counter people smirk at me for my jelly ignorance.)

Me: Ok, sorry. No jelly. Just a lemon and a glazed.

At this point, our conversation is ceased by the entrance of a Jersey woman, who carries a cup in front of her as is it is a very offensive object. She is pregnant. She storms the counter.

Jersey Woman: It tastes Burnt.

Surly Counter Person #3: What is it? 

Jersey Woman: It Tastes Burnt.

Surly Counter Person #3: What IS it? 

Jersey Woman: It Tastes Burnt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surly Counter Person #3: What IS it?

Jersey Woman: It's coffee.

Surly Conter Person #3: That's what I was axing you!

Jersey Woman: You don't need to get all-

Surly Counter Person #4: No, you need to tell us what it IS.

Surly Counter Person #2: Yeah, she don't know what's in your cup. Could be anything.

Jersey Woman: Well, it's coffee and it tastes Burnt.

Surly Counter Person #4: Well, that's all you had to say now, isn't it?

They give her fresh coffee, which apparently does not taste Burnt. I get my order. The Jersey Woman and I roll our eyes at each other. The end.

Gotta love it.

There were many other highlights, including meeting Mike's new ladylove, people watching at the local diner and bar, and multiple giant tables of feasting, drinking friends. Many nights raged until until 5 AM. David gave me a new song to obsess about, Burn Back's "Make the Logo Bigger." I recommend it highly. Last night, Gabe showed me the Steve McQueen/Ali McGraw Peckinpah classic, "The Getaway". Now that's what I call a movie. I met Tasha's dad and he gave me a touching gift that makes me cry. Adriana bestowed a piece of Camilla's jewelry on me that I will treasure forever. I received the gift of great talks with old friends, too.

In short, I have everything I could possibly want within my web and I have been reminded of that most profoundly this week. My gratitude is giant, and my hope is alive.

 

There's so much more to say on all of it, but for now, I am going to go have my last Geno's cheesesteak and pass out again. Tomorrow I go back to La La Land, and life starts over in many ways...

G'nite.

 

QotD: Kitchen Essentials

What are the 10 foods you must have in your refrigerator and/or your kitchen cabinet? 
Submitted by Carol.  

I must have Coca Cola, 7-UP, Pulp Free Minute Maid Orange Juice or equivalent, Vitamin Waters of Myriad Colors, Claussen's Dill Pickles, Diamond Brand Maui Onion Flavored Almonds, Tombstone Pepperoni Pizza, Yoplait Cherry Yogurt, Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing, and, of course, HATCH GREEN CHILE. Most of those are drinks, and the last one goes in the freezer, but they really are my staples. Healthy, yo.

Wow, I'm hungry.

Sidewinder

This morning I had a dream that in the attic loft of my work, which was my house, I saw a giant serpent, resting easily. I hoped to let it continue to repose there, but my coworkers said I had to exterminate it, so I sprayed it with ant killer, of all things. It fell to the floor and was still a good sized snake, but not the giant boa I thought it was. It writhed around and my cat thought it was a toy. It kept rearing up to strike her, so I put my kitty away in Mike's room for safe keeping and went to choose a knife with which to slay it. I chose my largest butcher knife after some deliberation and my sister Topaz appeared just in time to hold the snake's body while I sawed off its head. Both the head and the body reanimated for a moment, and I was afraid I would not be able to ever kill it, but it stopped writhing and I disposed of it in the trash bin. My dad showed up and said, "That wasn't a boa constrictor honey, that was a sidewinder." I awoke feeling relieved that I had slain the snake and could finally rest easily in my home.

I dream about snakes often, but I have never killed one before. I few weeks ago I had a dream that I turned my head to face a squirming nest of brilliant green garter snakes, inches from my face. I was unafraid. I have had other dreams of snakes covering my bed, and a very heady hallucination once of snakes laying Faberge eggs as my soul traveled the Egyptian underworld, the Duat, where my spirit was to be weighed against Shu's feather after I crossed the River Styx. I nearly stopped breathing during this particular trip and my dear friend who I was camping with thought I had died. She was building a campfire and contemplating what she was going to do with my body when I emerged from the tent, reborn and shaking.

What does it all mean?

I don't know. Snakes can be phallic symbols, symbols of danger, symbols of regeneration. I know that one of my totem animals is the snake, so I don't know what it means to kill my totem animal. I believe it is the totem of my male side, and my female side is the spider. I also see and dream of spiders ridiculously often. My gut is that is symbolized, in this particular dream, the persistent specter of my soon to be ex-husband, and that perhaps I have now let go of allowing his memory to poison my personal well.

It has been awhile since I blogged.

Much has happened. Highlights include memorizing my Niina Totenberg monologue for my show, beginning to learn barre chords on the guitar, celebrating dear Rossanna's birthday by her Encino pool house, reconnecting with my fashion designer friend Alisha at her downtown trunk show, flying to Portland for my first solo design presentation and having dinner with Brandy, Amber, Sam, Jon and Emily, seeing Brandy's 10 inch magenta dahlia, viewing my first film by Michel Gondry, and signing my final divorce papers. With a flourish.

Life is a whirlwind, each moment precious. The Philadelphia show is nearly upon us, and the rehearsal process is heating up. I cannot wait to reconnect with wonderful friends in Philly, to perform and direct and dance and laugh with my beloveds.

And also, there is a new kitty haunting our porches, who we have dubbed Penelope Muffin Jones, though we do not know if she is a she or a he, but it hardly matters. P. Muffin and Desdemona are wonderful friends, and this strange little beast is now eating from the palm of my hand, though I still have not been able to pet him/her/it.

All in good time.

All good in time.

QotD: I Felt Butterflies

When was the last time you felt butterflies in your stomach?

Yesterday, at the beach, while slumbering after a few hours of fun with my friends. I awoke from my doze to the sounds of the beach patrol, having discovered our contraband liquour, saying, "Gather round. Gather round." I have to admit my stomach turned a bit- it made me feel like I was 8 years old again and had been caught stealing candy at the Stop N' Go. Or the times I ran from cops through parks in the Burque when I was participating in shenanigans there after curfew. Or the more recent time at the Canadian border that I really don't want to go into right now.

So, yeah. There was a sign prohibiting alcohol, which we, like many beachgoers around the world, ignored. It's the beach, for god's sake. Regardless, we were made to give over our ID's and receive a small lecture about how the rich people around there paid alot of money for extra patrols to make sure poor folks like us weren't drinking ourselves into a stupor on their lovely beach and then driving drunk down PCH, where we might collide with thier Astin Martin. Now, I can understand that a bit, but this particular beach has a very mighty climb back up to the road including two gravely and treacherous slopes and 2 sets of somewhat crochety wooden stairs. I defy anyone to make it back to the road and not be sober.

Anyway, we were also told we could be charged with misdemeanors and have to appear before court and serve three days in jail. But instead, they were going to be cool and just take 45 minutes out of our otherwise enjoyable day and write each of us an $80 ticket for public drinking. All in all, not a terrible price to pay for a glorious birthday celebration for Mary. The sun was warm and kind, the water was heavenly, the company was outstanding. And while the man from my dream, aka the Universe, did not come and kiss my like in my reverie from a few days back, it also did not throw me in jail. Thanks, Universe.

Funny that usually I get butterflies in my stomach only when I fear danger or repercussions. That's why when I feel butterflies about a boy/man, I have learned it usually means that I should run. Very very quickly. These days I prefer to keep the butterflies at bay.

With Great Big Hugs!

Hi Pals,

For those of you who are not already in the video, or who have not yet been pummelled with the fact that some wonderful friends and I are doing a collaborative show called "Acts of Sedition" in at the Philadelphia Fringe Fest come September, here is a video that will be projected onstage during one of the scenes. The song is called "Hugs to the Roof" and is sort of send up of disaster tribute songs like "We are the World". The scene it occurs in is a Beckettian two man dramedy in which the protagonists are stranded on a rooftop after a Katrina like event at some point in the not too distant future.

Special thanks to everyone who came out to sing and frolick for the video, and extra special thanks to David and Adriana Roze for creating the music and rap lyrics, and to Mary McIlwain for shooting and editing the video. Tell me what you think!

Hugs to the Roof

New Moon

    Today is a new moon and as good a day as any to start a new blog. My old blog is from another lifetime, from the "pretty times done did", as my friend Mac Wellman might put it, from an inaccessible time that may best be forgotten as much as is possible with such things. Today is the start of a new paper journal for me as well, one I have appropriately christened, "Journal of Dark Thoughts". A morose title, perhaps, but one that will allow me to be ok with writing down the little black things that sometimes rattle around in the empty cage I call a heart these days. A way to release those feelings so that my heart has room to fill up again, and to choose wisely what I let in this time around. It has a black cover, and is unlined, as a journal ought to be.

    I also have a dream journal, and it amuses me greatly how difficult it is to convert dreams into language. This morning I dreamt I was wearing a patriotic bikini on a windswept but sunny beach, tending to a group of children who were frolicking on and around a large silver slide. A foreign man, extremely attractive, with black curling hair and bright blue eyes rushed up to me asked if he could embrace me. I threw my arms around him and he lifted me high into the air as if I weighed nothing and then slid me down his body and kissed me passionately, tasting of dark chocolate and cigarettes, which was wonderful. I felt as if the entire Universe had just made out with me, and that it had suddenly become available and accessible to me whenever and however I chose. And then he was gone, back the way he had come, and I was left smiling into the sun.

    I take this as a good sign. A positive omen. A gift.

    Here is a moon for all of you. And here's to beginnings...as today is all we have and all.

   

Moon_4